One of the most fascinating things about being in a significant relationship (partner, parent, family member) with someone is how you begin to see yourself in that relationship. I didn’t realize until after I was married that being in a significant relationship is a mirror. I really started to see who I was as a person when I had to share so much of myself with someone else. Really strong relationships do that to us, and (as I have come to realize) is part of the bonding process!
So much of how we partner started developing when we were kids. Like all little people, we were figuring out how the world worked. We looked to those around us to help us determine what is good, bad, safe, or unsafe. We learned how to connect with people around us. Some of us have relationships that have endured since we were a child – which is something I find amazing.
I find myself reflected in my successes and failures as a partner and a parent, and I am sure that you have found the same.
When you catch glimpses of yourself – take a good look at who you are. Are you the person you want to be? Are you living out your values? Or simply – Do you like what you see? Take the opportunities as they come (and there will be many) and examine who you are. Chances are, you’ll create more change in your relationships by first self-examining your role.