I think that a majority of parents have the best of intentions with their children. They do not mean to harm them, or coddle them to excess. They really are well-meaning people. I’ll put myself in that “best of intentions parent” category because I’m one of them. I certainly mean well when I parent my children.
I see things go wrong when parents start parenting (often unknowingly) out of their own insecurities. One of the biggest comments I hear from parents is “Man, what were people thinking of me?!” These are not narcissistic parents. These are not parents who are vicariously living through their children. People who say this to me are your regular, run-of-the-mill, way-too-busy parents. They are the well-meaning parents.
Parenting is an intimate thing – it is very much part of who we are as a person. Some of us define ourselves by our parenting role. When our kid does something, it impacts us. We have feelings about that. And usually, we are trying to resolve our own feelings of frustration, shame and guilt through our responses to our kids.